#2 -- Life is a b*tch, and then you die.

Excuse my language. I am simply too upset to speak without any dirty words.

I realized I blog when I need to get something out of my system because I am depressed. 
So for my English class we are now reading "Animal Farm" by George Orwell. I am in Magnet School. In a friggin' HONORS ENGLISH. And I am reading a small-ass book that criticizes Stalin. I don't get it, why people hate communism so much?! For the record, it was the best thing that happened to Russia. The times of communism were much easier than today's because people weren't afraid to go on streets with a fear of getting shot because of your race, everyone were equal and the communism made Russia one of the strongest nations and the biggest country in the world. On September 1, 2005, the Day of Knowledge, when every student throughout Russia starts school again, the terrorists took over a school in North Osetia. Kids from ages 6 to 18 were taken hostages. We survived this. More than 500 CHILDREN were killed by this awful act of terrorism. If communism was still around, this wouldn't have happened.
Anyways, I think I went off-topic, like, srsly. Sorry, I just don't like how my teacher thinks that communism is wrong. And I am from Russia after all. 
SO we are reading this book. We were suppose to read To Kill A Mockingbird, like other 9 grade classes did, but our school is in danger of turning into a Charter, so the time it would have taken us to read TKAM we spent on studying for stupid tests that district gives us. They want to see if we are stupid so they can take over us. 

I have a heavy heart. I don't know what's right and what's wrong. I feel alone. Again. In my 9th grade, everyone knows everyone from middles schools, and I am the only one who came from hell Woodland Hills Academy. For the past few months I was best friends with cheerleader, and she was friggin amazing friend. But lately she got all coolbeans and she became cold and selfish. It's like a revolution, swear, no one is talking to anyone anymore, just in classes and that's it. Everyone got new friends... And I feel left out. Like a fifth wheel. Screw this.
And now I feel like I am not good enough to get into USC. Sometimes I imagine myself going down the streets of New York City, holding a cup of Starbucks, wearing high heels and expensive business clothes. Walking to my publishing office. I feel that the only way this reality will come true is only through USC, but now I feel like I will not get in. USC is the best university in California. I feel like I need to choose between non-stop studying and a normal teenage life... 
I am not good enough. I know I won't get in... So. Fucking. Depressed.
What else is new? I got a new printer. Wireless, works on Wi-Fi. So I can do homework in kitchen on the first floor and print out my homework without going upstairs. :D I LOVE IT.
I pre-ordered New Moon DVD. Well, at first I pre-ordered 2-disc edition, but then I cancelled it. And then I ordered Borders' Exclusive Edition. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOY (:

Oh, so why I was talking about "Animal Farm" on the first place. Yeah, I lost it yesterday. It had $50 Barnes&Noble Gift Card as a bookmark. My friend found a book, but without the Gift Card. I hope you fucking enjoy it, motherf*cking thief. >:'[

It is Friday, 12:00 AM now. I was kind of suppose to study for World War I test for tomorrow, but I couldn't concentrate because I had all this crap in my mind. 

My Life is.... A shithole Confusing.
I hope you didn't get bored from mini-drama.

posted under , , , |


Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home


Recent Comments